If I be calm like water, will I fight like Bruce Lee and discover the meaning of life? It is a very good question…Knowing yourself is one of the greatest virtues of being a man. When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself this question; ” what do I think of the task set before me?”. “What would I really like to eat for dinner?”. “How would I like to spend this evening or this weekend?”. “Happiness — what does it mean to me?”. Be calm and clear like water 

These are simple questions with no simple answers. 

They open up doors which, when opened, might not be able to be closed again. Once you see whats on the other side, how can you ever go back. But thats the thing, why would I want to go back to what I left behind? I cannot change my past but I can change my future by adjusting my now. 

What do I do when things get strange and I am uncertain of how to move forward or respond to life? The first step would be to breathe. To take one step back so that I can take in the whole picture. By taking a step back, I take myself out of the busy traffic, onto the curb, and have the time to think about it — what do I want?

How do I make choices?

Most of us have heard the statement that we see the world through our own unique lenses. The accompanying truth is that other part — understanding and making sense of what we see. This translator is at the core of who we are and what we are about. It can be defined as our perceived values, rules, conditions and/or principles. These are our internal laws which govern  both our internal and external lives. Every single decision we make, consciously or unconsciously, goes through this filter. 

So you use a water filter?

Now imagine pouring a glass of water from that filter every single day for a year. Heres some additional information— you have been using this same water from the filter to wash the vegetables and dishes, cook, clean and everything else you can imagine. 

Would that glass of water served from that filter, after a year, be as clean and clear as the water that came out when you first installed it? Did you, sometime during the course of the year, clean or replace the filter? 

How about vacuum cleaners? Or are you still using a broom and dustpan?

The vacuum is light, easy to carry around and clears dirt faster than Godzilla clears a city. I purchased one a little while ago and after a month of using it, it started to heat up rapidly and shut down suddenly for up to 20-30 minutes after 5 minutes of cleaning. When it first happened, I was puzzled but patient. The second time a little less patient and the third time, I almost threw it off the roof. Thank goodness for wives and common sense. Cleaning is not my favourite activity and when I am in a rush to get it done and have my equipment break halfway — I get angry, very angry — a lot like the incredible Hulk but a more chocolatey version of him and with my humour in tact. I can still make lewd jokes. 

All these self help books I love to read taught me something that was not in the vacuums user manual.

If I cleaned the filter regularly, after every 3-4 uses, the vacuum works like a champ and does not shut down. Even better than that, I work like a champ, the hulk does not appear, the home is cleaned and everyone can enjoy my naughty jokes without the fire breathing. A win-win situation. 

The idea of regularly cleaning this filter came to me during one of these cleaning sessions. If I have to regularly clean the filter of my vacuum and water supply, whats stopping me from regularly cleaning out the filter inside me? I regularly service my car and air conditioner, shower every day, cut my hair and nails often, remember to eat when I am hungry and exercise. Yet, when was the last time I stopped to clean my internal filter? 

How do I even start? Its not like I can put my hand inside myself, tug it out, give it a wash or put a new filter in. Or can I? 

Without going overly deep into this — there are myriad ways of tackling this beast, here are some methods I regularly use. 

Mindfullness meditation. 

To distill it down into its simplest form; it would be to sit quietly in a good posture — comfortable but not so comfortable that you fall asleep —with eyes closed and notice. What are you noticing? Whats going on inside your head. Imagine yourself sitting at a cafe and watching people go by. There goes a really cute girl bouncing away in the summer dress.. or that chiselled chocolate hunk with manliness oozing of him. You see them walk by, perhaps have a casual fantasy fling in your mind and then when you catch yourself dreaming of them, you come right back to your senses and watch people go by again.

Perhaps you stop and look around the cafe, notice its windows, the colour of the paint on the wall, the colour of the floor, the waitresses talking to each other and as you get lost in these details, your thought bubble pops and you are back realising that you have been thinking about thinking. 

There are many forms of meditation out there.

Theres also transcendental meditation where you are given a special mantra which you repeat to yourself, verbally or internally, for 20 minutes, twice a day. For some this is easier as you have something to focus on. 

I have tried Headspace, an incredible little app, which teaches you how to meditate before you begin. It is fantastic if you are new and you can start with as little as 5 minutes of meditation at a time. Some friends of mine swear by Calm, which has very interesting rain sounds. 

Whatever method you choose

Meditation is essentially sitting quietly for an “x” number of minutes — 2, 5, 10, 20, 30…….whatever you choose — with eyes closed, noticing what you are thinking about and if you are thinking about nothing then, noticing this too. Most of us cannot help but start thinking about our problems and to come up with a solution.

Stop it.

Try letting it be. If you happen to be a parent of a grownup child, notice what happened when you stopped controlling your child and instead allowed it to solve its own problems. Do this consistently, even if it is 2 minutes a day and you will notice some interesting things about yourself. As my good friend Dan Harris of the 10 percent happier podcast likes to say; “you feel less like a jerk”.

Not into meditation? 

Thats cool too. Its not for everyone. Another idea that works well is journaling. Its called the morning purge where, first thing in the morning you sit down, grab some pen and paper (or your laptop), and write whatever is in your head. Often nonsense, some irritation, thoughts, hopes, ideas, dreams, fantasies.. whatever comes up. I know some people who write the same word continuously.

After a few days, something interesting happens to them. I recommend it. The key is to not filter or think about the content but instead to keep writing till your one page, two pages or.. you hit your word count. You are the boss – you decide when is enough. From experience, hitting the wall and pushing a little bit more, like 3 more pushups or just another minute extra to run – builds stronger muscles. If not – aim for 2 pages, around 200-300 words. 

What do you do?

Nothing. Like one of those clean your computer programs which gives you a report which reads like a foreign language, file it away and forget about it. The works done and your brain will readjust itself. If you want to, you can read a little later — just don’t take it personally. If you are embarrassed abut anything you read, I’ve got some bad news for you — this makes you perfectly normal. 

So what now — be calm like water and discover the meaning of life? 

Yes. You already know the answer to the meaning of your life. You just have not realised it yet. My meaning and your meaning might be entirely different and both right. Heres the kicker — it changes too. If you, as an experiment, decide to take 2 minutes every day for a month, 3 months, to answer this question — what is the meaning of my life — I can attest to the fact that you will get very interesting answers. Will it bring you closer to an answer? I don’t know, tell me in 30 days. 

Be calm and clear like water

Be calm and clear like water

We would like to introduce our latest product; Inner Discovery.

Think of it as a DIY (Do-it-yourself) coaching program. Broken up into 6 categories; ego, the inner critic, love, money, creating value and time.

Each chapter is built to challenge you to understand your views on these subjects. Most of our thinking comes from our environment and the people we expose ourselves to. In this program we help you uncover who you really are and why you think the way you do. We inculcate written assignments with questions, short reads and audio exercises to support you in your journey.

The door to our future lies on the inside. If we have the courage to open this door and walk through it – we might pleasantly surprise ourselves.