Thats a great question. Can a baby complete your life? As a party boy, I never imagined it would be possible for me to love another human being as much as I do my wife. And then my daughter happened to me. It wasn’t that all my fears vanished over night. Before she arrived, we went through a 40 hour pre labour period with massive contractions. My wife spent them grabbing her belly and making funny noises every 5 minutes. It was definitely not the most pleasant experience. We stayed up all night and poured warm water over her belly as she lay in a bath tub facing wave upon wave of contractions.

They say that the reason a baby takes so long to come out is because it wants its parents to be sure they really want her. Think of it as getting the soil ready before you plant the seeds. For me, it was realising that as much as I thought the ground was ready, there was still more tilling to do and few more weeds to pull out. 

Can I let go of the idea that I might have to change my life?

My habits, giving up my freedom, not being able to do what I want when I want and many more anchors which were holding me onto my past life. At some point, I consciously decided enough is enough. More than that it was time to accept the gift which was about to come into my life. To be grateful that this baby chose me and that I would do everything possible to be a good father even if I had no idea how. 

Can a baby complete your life?

The fears were Loud and suffocating. But it was in that moment when I accepted things as they are, not how I want them to be; did things change. Dale Carnegie in his book, how to stop worrying and start living called this golden rule; accept the inevitable and cooperate with it. As an avid surfer, I learned that to fight the waves would not help me to surf. But by going with the waves, I could climb onto my board confidently and enjoy what was coming to me. Sure, I might fall off in less than a minute and swallow salty water for a very long time, much longer than the pleasure of riding the wave but.. it would be worth it because, I got to ride the wave. 

I am not that smart and definitely not the best person when it comes to dealing with my emotions but.. in the heat of battle, one loses conscious thought and flows with whats coming and by doing so, one acts in ways that surprises one. 

It was the same with the birth.

It was me and my wife.. and an awesome midwife, Frida. Just 3 of us in the room and my fear of watching something alien pop out from the mother mouth of my wife was not what I initially wanted. I imagined I would hold her hand, keep her calm, talk some shit and that would be it. 

Life however had another plan. During the labour, I climbed onto the bed, held my wife’s leg up and watched the entire birthing process. When our midwife, the lovely Frida said; “Look, the heads crowning”.. I didn’t want to look but could not help watching and seeing the hairy patch growing bigger and then a head popping out. My system went into total shock and I was acting from an entirely different place.

All instinct; with my thoughts having gone on vacation. 

With a few more pushes out came this gorgeous looking alien creature which roared just once and then spent the rest of the birth looking around in curiosity as the 3 of us cried, laughed and celebrated in unison.

When they wheeled my wife out to help her remove her placenta, what I thought would be 5 minutes ended up an hour with me holding our little baby girl in my arms, skin to skin. I’ve only ever held 2 babies in my life.. and both were in the last 3 years. I was nervous, worried and insecure. The other mid wife put her in my arms, told me I would be fine and left us alone for what was the crowning moment of my life. Connecting with her in that moment and realising that “I think she likes me”, I felt my heart was so full and open. Indescribable feelings of joy on so many levels took over and left me feeling like a happy father. 

This is my story and page one..

Well the introduction was written and written well. What a great foreward to start out journey. Will I be a great dad? I do not know.. all I can do is do my best and thats more than enough. The key is in continually trying and being curious and not worrying about trying to be perfect. In doing.. one makes tonnes of mistakes and figures out everything else. So far so good. I am in love. I never imagined feeling this way about another human being or anything else in my life.. and then I did. 

Fathers often describe the feelings of becoming a father in one simple word.

Indescribable; and thats exactly how I feel. The worries are still hiding in the corner and when I see them and my heart starts shaking nervously… I realise that they are just worries. Neither good, nor bad and definitely not out to get me. In that moment, they vanish like smoke from a chimney or a fart from my baby.. smelly but not permanent. After a while… I even learnt to love her little farts. 

Can a baby complete your life?

P.s Who is Powderfinger?

“For so many Australians, Powderfinger have defined the moment: a love lost, a connection made, defiance, a life-changing party, an anthem that spoke directly to you, a ballad that hit your heart. For twenty years Powderfinger was the soundtrack to your life. Some may remember the heady days of the early ’90s, when they’d play bikie bars for a seedy rider. Others discovered Powderfinger in the sweaty mosh pit at the Big Day Out. Or you may have only found them in their twilight days, farewelling the band alongside thousands of fellow fans on their Sunsets tour.

The ambitious, honest, hard-working Brisbane band consisted of Ian ‘Hoggy’ Haug (guitar), John ‘JC’ Collins (bass), Bernard Fanning (vocals), Darren ‘Darius’ Middleton (guitar) and Jonathon ‘Cogsy’ Coghill (drums). They were successful, yet humble. Their no-bullshit, down-to-earth attitude, paired with their politically conscious lyrics made them accessible to people from all walks of life. That, and some f***ing catchy tunes.” – Spotify

They were also the reason I went to Australia. My cousin scored very ‘hard to get’ tickets for their farewell, Sunsets, tour. I will never forget the experience of singing along, laughing, smiling and crying to their music.