Why do I dream? 

Images flutter through me like pigeons hovering over seas of food, suddenly startled and with a mighty swishing of their wings, create a wind so strong it throws me back into the ether of my soul. The pigeon effect. Multitudes of them coming together to feed and acting as one in flight. One pigeon is not weak. It is simply not as powerful as hundreds acting and communicating in synchronicity. The wind they create is a tsunami straight to the heart of us. 

This morning I stood there with tea mug in hand, lost in admiration and a tiny bit fearful looking at these understated birds living life as they normally do. Seemingly without care or concern. They eat, they sleep, they mate, they enjoy the gift of flight, they coo in the sun and they live. Who might be happier; us or them? 

How might one answer a question such as this? 

What is happiness? What does it mean to be happy? Can we even be truly happy or is it a temporary illusion preventing us from stepping out of our cage and into the madness of oblivion? Is oblivion even madness? 

Have we ever avoided feeling bad? Drowned ourselves in whisky, beer or wine? Ate one too many sweet or salty treats? Watched one too many movies, read one too many books, worked till our bones hurt.. perhaps had so much sex that we stopped feeling?

Feelings are sometimes like that nosy neighbour who knocks on our door at midnight and tells us to turn down the volume of our party.. people are sleeping. It is that neighbour whom, when we do refuse to listen to it, calls the police on us and shuts us down. Feelings are sometimes the parking attendant who drops a big fine on us when we park somewhere illegally. They are the cramps we feel in our stomach when we eat too much. Feelings might even be the fatigue we do not feel when we cannot explain or understand why we feel so tired from doing nothing all day. 

Us and them. Feelings are feelings and as fast as we might run, we might never outrun them.

Like a mutant with a teleportation gift, they seem to inadvertently show up ahead of us, always on time.  How do we manage uncomfortable feelings?

Have we ever chucked them in a suitcase and hidden them in our closet? Perhaps we crushed them and hid them in one of our many drawers? Disposed of them by setting them on fire before anyone sees it? Maybe if we pretend hard and long enough, it will just disappear; fake it till we make it, right? Right. 

Like an anchor that grounds a ship. No matter the magnitude of the tide, the anchor holds the ship, keeps it safe and allows the ocean to do its thing. The rock in the river, no matter the ferocity of the current, stands quiet, strong and allows the river to wash over it. Like the silent man or woman, who do their work day in and out, manage their families, contribute to their communities, celebrating both their lives and the lives of others around them. Rain, shine, summer, winter, good times and bad. They remain the anchor for the people around them. 

Feelings are feelings and try as we might, we might never outrun them. Maybe someday we might even run with them, use them as the wind beneath our wings and take flight. 

WHY do I write?

As an Artist I tend to follow the crazy thoughts and the strange paths which meander and take me to stranger destinations. The result is sometimes confusion, chaos, bewilderment, excitement but always, and I mean always, a deep sense of fulfilment. Not everyone may understand my art and this is the gift I bring.

You get to choose what it means to you. You decide. Go on our own journey and maybe someday, you make your own art.

For more information on why we do what we do, check out our main page @Selfempowery.com